Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I Know What I Want to be for Halloween!

Yesterday after work, I went to my friend's house for a game of risk with him and others.  During our game, we started discussing what we were going to be for Halloween.  Our evening is already planned, since one of our friends was born on October 31st.  Unfortunately, he was in basic training last year, which happened to be his 21st birthday.  So this year, we are going to go either to Philly or New York and do the ultimate bar hop!  After a few suggestions that I was definitely not feeling (prostitutes, the Ambiguously Gay Duo, etc.), we came up empty for a while.  But it got me thinking...

I've been told on multiple occasions that I have a slight resemblence to Hugh Laurie.  With the popularity of House M.D. with the 6th season premiere just last night, and the public's love for the personality of the character, Dr. Gregory House, I decided almost instantly that I will be House for Halloween.   Tell me what you think...

Now, I wouldn't mind of course, being paired up with a very lovely Olivia Wilde.  Anyone want to dress up in a doctor's jacket and be called Thirteen for a day?

hmm? (I swiped the picture from dosomething.org even though they don't know yet that I'm using the picture.  you should check their site out by the way -wink-. Actually, it's a really cool site.  I've been skimming through it instead of finishing this blog.)

But yeah, this is what I'm going to do for Halloween.  If you're in the Philly area (since it's the more sensible of the two options and we'll likely go there anyway), let me know and you can join the party!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Where do people come from?

It's amazing how simple the answer is to the question most asked by children.  "Where do babies come from?"  I think it's amazing because the question is so vague and broad that some people can be satisfied simply by mentioning conception whereas others' thirst for the answer will not be quenched until they know the origin to our species.  Of course, as everything else does, it got me thinking...

Where did I come from?

I thought about this momentarily, then wiki'd my name.  It turns out that the history of my first name, Steven, can be traced to England, where it was first recorded in Homer's Iliad.  Saint Stephen apparently was the first martyr.  My last name (which is obviously a lot more relevant to my lineage) stems from Southern England as well.  My name, in its entirety is very popular.  There is a website, www.howmanyofme.com that will display the number of people that you share your name with.  I share my name with 2443 other people here in the U.S.  My first name is the 26th most popular name used, and my last name is the 26th most popular.  I'm very average as far as names go.  My name doesn't tell me much about where I came from though.  Granted, in today's international culture web, it is much more difficult to accurately trace your origins without a decent head start.  Luckily, I have just that.  On my mother's side, I come from a long line of Italians with the surname of Fertitta. The surname is especially popular in Maryland and New York (Baltimore and New York City...yeah, do the math, I think it's mafia related too).  HA! I just googled 'Fertitta' and it confirms my suspicion.  I come from a Sicilian family of mobsters!

Yes, I haven't posted in a while and today's is equally as lazy, with more typing.  However, I found a little gem about my life, and I'd like for you to try a little bit of research.  You might be surprised as to what you find. I would also love to hear any special stories you miht come across.

Friday, September 11, 2009

I'm Going to Rip Space/Time a New Hole!

I hear complaints from people constantly about how they wish they could go back to a point in their lives so things would be different now.  "I wish I could go back to (insert moment in lifetime here) and do this one thing differently.  My life would be so different now."  Every time I hear this phrase or anything similar to it, I ask this question, "where do you think the people you've affected will be at this point if you decided to do what you did differently? Furthermore, would your other plan have been a guarantee to become what you are wishing you would be now?"  I admit, I get these thoughts in my head on occasion, but I remember my beliefs in time and space.  Today, I'm going to invite you into my thought process for a few minutes.  You'll discover things that you may not have even fathomed had I not said anything.  You might even think that I'm a loony and I have way too much time on my hands.  On a lighter side, you'll also peek into my artistic talent (or lack there of) with two hastily drawn graphs on paint.  The law of conservation of matter and the law of conservation of energy respectively will be mentioned within this post, as well as a very vague description of my interpretation of the space/time continuum.

I'm going to start with that question, then dig deeper within the subject afterward.  So, what would you think your life be like now if you changed your decision at that specific point in time?  Assuming you had a knowledge of what would happen after if you repeated the choice you made the first time, you would obviously take the other path in hopes that something good would come out of it.  Mine for example, would have been my first tenth grade year, where I would have put forth more effort in my work and passed it the first time around.  However, when I think about what could have been, I also remember that because I failed that grade, I inherited a more competent, friendlier, and knowledgeable teacher in the subject that held me back from advancement (ironically, I failed English).  I could have gone to my counselor, and transferred to his class the first year, but at the time, I had no knowledge of his teaching methods compared to the one I was already learning from. So let's say that I want to go back in time, transfer to his class, graduate a year earlier, attend college (which I have yet to do in this time span), and be in a new position than I am now.  Here is what I envision would happen.

This poorly drawn chart shows the multiple choices (granted, much simpler than a normal human's complex life) one can make throughout the point of time where they wish they could change time and the line they have already lived up to now.  The top represents the immediate point where the choice in question was made.  The bottom parts represents present day, and the decisions you've made to lead you to where you are now or what you could have made had you done something different.  Let's say the black line represents the exact path you've chose to this point, and the red lines are the ones you've chosen against, or never knew existed because they never were brought up in front of you in the first place.  Now, I want you to start at the top, and work your way down and at some point (it can be the very beginning), step into a red line, and continue through it until you reach a dead end.  Once you find the end, look back at all the possibilities that were left in front of you that you won't experience because of the path you chose.  Then, think about where you broke from the path that you have already lived.  Do you think you'll miss the impact you've had from that point to where you are now in this present day?  These are the types of things I wish people would think of when they make that wish.

If a person was able to go back to that point, and change his decision, a hole would be created.  Something would have to fill that spot.  Whatever was in that hole needs to be filled by something else, causing ripples throughout space/time that can not be empty.  Every nanosecond and smaller needs to replace what you ripped out with something else, causing major shifts in history and altering the future.  People normally call this the "Butterfly Effect," but since the movie of the same name was released, I chose to rename it.  Now, I coin it the "Space/Time Pyramid Scheme."    Kidding!  But in a nutshell, yes, it is the "Butterfly Effect."

Now I would like to get more in depth with time travel itself.  Everyone in quantum physics and studies in space/time always fascinate about having the ability to travel through time.  People always dream of traveling back in time, and changing history into something more utopian.  Here is my theory, illustrated to help explain what I mean.

Enlarge the picture by clicking on it if you have to.

I will explain this in the 2nd person perspective.
We will start this from your life span.  You are born, raised, and you reach a point in your age where you discover time travel, and find a way to travel back.  You DO travel back in time to a specific point and witness the events that actually happened at that moment in history.  For the period you are there, you shape the course of history with your presence.  After some time, you return to your time period and continue on your life, and nothing has changed, regardless of whether or not you made the effort to change it.  Want to know why?  You were supposed to be there!  In fact, you've already been there! You did everything exactly how you've done it before!

I believe that time is a straight line.  Time, as logic dictates, is purely one-dimensional and can not be shaped, molded, bent or broken.  I've also had thoughts of time being abstract and imaginative.  The main fact that keeps me sticking on the side of logic, is age and aging.  Things are given life, then die off.  Objects are molded into shape, then crumble into dust.  I don't think that this would happen naturally without an intangible element such as time.  I'm getting too far off topic.

What I'm trying to say is that the time line that you live on has occured, is occuring, and will occur again from multiple perspectives, and by you.  You may have found a way to travel back in time, but because time exists in a straight line, that moment of history has already welcomed your presence by occuring with you in it, even for such a short time.  That time will eventually lead to your birth, aging, and eventual travel to the point where you've existed before.  Though to you it will feel like you've traveled through time and into the past or future, all time sees is a point in which you've moved from one spot to another.  It's rather anti-climactic considering the achievement of man being able to accomplish such a feat, but that's how I envision it.  The technical part of it is where my brain really took it out to left field.

I believe in fundamental laws.  One of the most basic of these laws is the law of conservation of matter.  This is a simple law stating that matter cannot be created nor destroyed.  The law of conservation of energy is just about the same in its basic form.  In order for time travel to be possible, instead of just "popping up" in an arbitrary point in time, one would have to replace the matter and energy leaving one point, and expel of the excess in the destination point.  This would require a chamber that would literally swap the matter and energy needed from two points in time.

I'm not going to lie, it's past 1a.m., and I am growing increasingly tired.  I apologize for the sudden stop in this post, but I'm fairly certain I've covered a bulk of my theory, and don't want to bore you, the audience.  I will post more later in this very topic tomorrow, possibly.  If not, a new post will emerge and I promise it will be more light-hearted and easier on the brain, if for some reason I may have caused any stress on yours today.

I would also like to reiterate that I am severly uneducated in this field, and that the ideas I come up with are purely from the information that I have obtained and retained about time and space.  It is by no means scientific or factual.  I am merely stating a possibility, and it is highly opinionated.  If you enjoyed what I have had to say, I would love to hear about it.  If you have any theories of your own, please, I'd love to hear them too.  I am an open book and would relish in the opportunity to pick the minds of others.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

A Day Without Cats, AGAIN!

Now for the fun stuff!
and now for some non-cat images, inspired by cat images!


A Day Without Cats....BLASTPHEMY!


Today, a certain website attempted to create a day without cats.  Today, I will fight against it!  In fact, here are pictures of my cat, Chippy!


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Do You Smell Something?

Heh, I figured one day, You would start to see me eccentric side.  Today, you get to catch a glimpse.

The end of summer is very near, and I felt it today.  But what was weird about it, was that I caught it by a sense that usually triggers in the spring.  I cut my lawn yesterday, and my once white shoes showed with defining proof that I had performed the deed of decapitating thousands of blades of grass.  At the same time, I was racing against the weather with clouds above me looming over, playing with my patience and toying with me ominously.  Today, however, the clouds cleared temporarily and the aroma of chlorophyll coated pastures were prevalent in the air outside my house.  The scent lingered to my work as well, since the lawns there were neatly shaved today.  This got me thinking...

I think I have a well honed sense of smell.  What is more intriguing is that I find odd scents very alluring.  Freshly cut grass is top on my list.  Granted, that's not as bad, considering that most people don't find the aroma of grass very offensive.  Let me compile a list for you and let you judge for yourself what is offensive or not.  Here is the list of scents I love to smell:

Fresh cut grass
Gasoline (at the gas station, or when filling up the lawn mower.  NOT HUFFED)
Dirty leather, like a baseball glove covered in dirt and my sweat and aged over years
Car exhaust (to an extent...10 seconds at a stop light is enough for me)
A freshly cracked book, the scents between the newly pressed and printed pages (also new magazines)
A new shower curtain (something about an odd scent while naked is amazing!)
Chicken manuer (yeah, how about that one?)
Burned rubber
I LOVED the smell of NYC!  Not just Manhattan, but everywhere in the city smelled great!

I'm not going to include the stereotypical ones, like the new car smell, or the aroma of coffee floating through the air currents of the house.  I'm sure that a vast majority of people have similar tastes in fragrences like those.  It's ironic, that with such a wide array of redolance auras that I enjoy, that I would be self-conscious about my own scent.

That is correct.  Other than one or two physical imperfections that stay a fixture in my mind, I have a mental blockade regarding my body odor, which is rarely ever offending.  In fact, I'm told on a repeated basis that I smell incredible!  I HAVE to smell good.  You will never be around me where I smell like a sweaty, jocked up gym bag monster.  Though the second I catch a whiff of an offneding odor and can't trace its source, I instantly assume its me.  With sensitive receptors like mine, it happens more often than not.  It's never me though.  Silly self-esteem.

But let's not get too far off-topic.  Whether it is nostalgia, or just the neurons in my brain telling me that the chlorine wafting from the pool is pleasing to me, I gain a sense of enlightenment from these aromas.  Do you have any odd, yet pleasing scents that may or may not be normal to the average person?

Monday, September 7, 2009

Women's Magazines

(if I don't specify man or woman, where it says man, fill it in with woman if it is more your style)

Today, while spending time with my friends, we happened upon a magazine targeted towards the female audience.  I will not specify the name, but I will say that they are all pretty much the same to me.  A cover story caught my eye, and it stated, "12 ways to know your man is into you."  We proceeded to open it, and after about fifteen pages of ads, we finally discovered the table of contents in order to find the story we were looking for.  That brings me to another point, but I'll get to that in a minute.  Us men read through the tell-tale signs that women will be looking for, and we about died laughing at the expectations they're making women think their men are or are not doing.

Women, if you EVER come across one of these lists, do NOT believe them!  The first sign on this specific list was "They go the extra mile for you," to which they use an example of men making the bed just right, leaving no creases, smoothing out wrinkles, and fluffing the pillows.  This might just be me, and all of my friends, but you'll be lucky if we throw the sheet back over the pillow when we get out of bed in the morning.  We all also unanimously proclaimed that regardless of who we were with at the time, that habit will more than likely not change.  Think about it.  If you are already with us, and you were fine with us to this point, do you think that we'll change habits when they haven't been a problem before?

Now don't get me wrong.  There were some signs that are truthful, but they're surrounded by so much fodder, that you'll never know what to believe.  For example, there was a sign that we will respond to your text messages almost immediately most of the time.  If someone is into someone else, they're going to be very responsive to that person.  That's common sense though.  Women, if a man or woman that you're interested in texts you, you're more than likely going to respond.  These signs, the ones that show that someone is interested, work both ways. If it's something you would do if you were interested, more than likely, they're doing it because they're interested.  These magazines always make these "fail-proof" lists claiming they know the secret formula to the male psyche.  What they aren't telling their audience is that they only know a select few males, and those men don't equate to the average man.  If you really want to know, ask your male friends.  They're the men you are around the most, and you're more likely to be attracted to a man that you'll feel comfortable around.  They'll provide you personally with the most accurate protrayal of a man, especially if they know said person.

The other thing I noticed was the amount of ads. The magazine spanned roughly 350 pages, and only 100 of them were articles.  There is a problem with a magazine when two thirds of it are purely advertisements.  The problem is even worse when the prime demographic includes self-conscious, gullible people with disposable income.  From a business standpoint, that's a goldmine!  From a more personal level, it's horrible to make people think that spending more money on frivolous items will make them more attractive.  HA, that's probably why I'm still single.  I can't stand women that try to do extra to catch a man.  Can you imagine how disappointed a man will be if they gained feelings for someone, only for them to transform and regress into their normal self?  Even if their normal ways are perfectly fine, it was not who the man fell for. (yes, it works the other way too.  hence the reason why I'm always myself.)

This is a message from Steven to all the women.  Just be yourself!  Don't be what you think the other person will like.  The best relationships are those that you don't have to change anything about yourself in order for him to be happy.  Isn't it easier to just be you?  Don't listen to these magazines.  Form your own opinions about men.  And if you really want to know what men like, ask the one you're interested in directly.  Every man is a case-by-case situation, and these women's magazines can't generalize these concepts.  Be confident in your own abilities because you're you and that's what you're best at.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Blonde Stereotype

I was at the bar last night with my friend, Adam, and he made a very startling observation.  "Look at that girl over there being surrounded by five guys," he said, "she has dyed her hair WAY too blonde!"  He then went on to say, "does she like being perceived as an idiot?"  After some time went by and I was finished laughing, I thought about that comment for a second.

Why do women dye their hair blonde, knowing what the consequences are?  Other than the aesthetic value, which in itself is purely opinionated, the stigma attached to the style should be enough of a deterrent (unless of course they enjoy the attention of slobbering, brainless flies with their popped collars and gelled hair circling them in public).  "Iconic" figures like Paris Hilton, Brooke Hogan, Britney Spears and others with the blonde look receive the most negative media attention, granted most of it was self-inflicted.  Whatever happened to "learn by example?"

To me, blonde hair is a red flag.  I'm the type that gives everyone a chance, and let them dig their own graves once they open their mouths.  The only problem with this is, I haven't come in contact very often with an intelligent blonde.  The reason for this is because all of the ones smart enough to know what would happen if they appeared at a bar or club are the ones that find private gatherings or stay home.  The ones that crave the attention or are not smart enough to catch on that they are targets for a quick fling or worse are the ones that dress up in their heels, rhinestone blanketed blouses, and form-fitting pants or short skirts.  If for some reason, the planets aligned and the sun itself imploded into a vortex of nothing, gravitating everything nearby into it and composing everything together into a singularity, and a smart, intelligent, clever and witty woman with blonde hair decided to come out with some of her friends to a local bar, the chances of any smart, intelligent man with common sense being able to even get a few words in without getting butted out by yet another douchebag with ulterior motives are still lower than the chances of winning the lottery.

If you're thinking, "you have no room to speak, you're going to these places," you're completely justified to this point.  This isn't a flame towards the style, nor is it a "nice guy" plea.  It is merely an observation that I've experienced and there hasn't been much to prove me wrong.  (You can think of me as the creepy stalker in the bushes with the binoculars.)  I've been going to bars with friends recently because most of the time, the happenings within those over-21 confines are more entertaining than anything on TV, especially when I'm sober!  most of the actions I am referring to don't even involve me at all.  These are what I witness.

My real question is, why aren't the other hair colors appealing?  I have a soft spot for brunettes myself, and dark black hair is a close second (deep red really gets me too).  Is blonde hair really so aesthetically pleasing, that none of the others have the popularity that blonde does?  Are the stereotypes of the other ones, though mostly positive, a deterrent?  Yes, the redhead has the stigma of being intelligent, but at the same time, pompous and self-centered. The brunette has this "girl next door" feel to her, but they're not into meeting anyone at bars or clubs.  Are these really as bad as the popular, yet dumb enough to be convinced into anything stereotype?  I'm not judging solely on stereotypes, but there has to be an explanation as to why, and that leaves them suspect.  If anyone knows a probable reason to why, I'd love to know.  And if you're a blonde and you'd like to voice your opinion, please do.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Do You Love Your Search Engine?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is officially my first observation.

Not too long ago, search engines like Yahoo and Google implemented a new feature to their search bars. The idea was to increase convenience by dropping down a list of the most popular keywords or phrases that have been searched before by what you've already typed in the box. The problem with this feature is that the phrases that come up can be offensive, crude, extremely obscure, or just plain silly. For example:

I went to Google and typed in "I am" and this is what was shown...


Was there a common phobia that I didn't see on the Dr. Phil show recently that opened the floodgates around the world, letting people express their fears of a select group of 1 billion plus people?

What is the worst search engine prediction you've ever come across that had you scratching your head or laughing so hard, you actually clicked it to see the results? It can be Google. It can be Yahoo. It can be ask.com, Bing, even AskJeeves if people still use that. I want to know what results you've gotten from such a minimum amount for the engine to work with.


HELLO EVERYBODY! This is my new blog. I'm very proud to have this up and running now.

I think I'll talk about myself a little bit on my first post so you, the reader, can get a feel for the type of person I am and what to expect from this page.


I am the type that will not pull any punches with what I'm thinking. I am not a racist or sexist, nor am I religious. I never make fun of something that someone can not control, but the second they do or say something stupid, I'll be all over them! I play with stereotypical personalities and point them out when I see them for the goal of humor only! This is not an apology in advance, but a warning for those who are sensitive and defensive, or find certain subjects offensive.

At the same time, I want to hear some responses about what I say, whether or not you agree or disagree. One of my goals with this blog is to spark conversation. My eyes see the world through many perspectives, mainly because I tend to advocate against myself. The problem is that all these perspectives are still my own. More eyes are better than two.

I never stop learning and never want to stop. I want to be able to debate with the highest intellectuals on earth and discuss the most obscure topics known to man.

The thesaurus and spell check are my best friends.

I enjoy talking about current events, mainly because they're current. This blog is about the things I see, and the things I'm going to see the most are current events.

I, on Wednesday, September 9, in rebellion of t3h intertewbz, will be displaying a picture of my cat, Chippy. He is the most adorable 15lbs of tiny tiger I have ever bonked heads with.

I will post links to sites I happen to come across that I find interesting, funny, debatable, and something you would like to see.

And that's it for now. I hope that gives you an idea of what is to come. Once I get knee deep in topics, you'll be able to make the decision yourself, but I'm confident you'll stick around.

Til next time!